How Did Our Marriage End Up Like This?

I drove my husband to drinking. . . :( But How??

Published on June 29, 2004 By simplethings In Blogging

Shawn has come home, and I found out that he had appearantly been drinking, because he was in the bathroom all morning thowing up. His mom called me after he left and told me that if he didn't come home I was supposed to call her. I'm really upset with him right now. I told him that John could move in and he just shrugged. He hasn't said a word to me...

It hurts me. I never meant to "drive him to drinking", was my reply to what he said such an awful thing? Did I say something wrong? I just want to nkow. And he's not telling me anything. I'm really upset right now. I'm so upset that I don't even notice John or Paige being here. I'm off in my own little world and the only thing that is on my mind, is Shawn. Which is pretty sad considering I just had a baby. . .

Well.. I am going to chase after Shawn, he just walked out the door. Maybe I can catch him before he leaves. . .
Emma

Comments (Page 2)

Gideon MacLeish

on Jun 30, 2004

Marvin, I will not repeat your horrbile post, but you have shown yourself to be a person utterly without ANY redeeming qualities.

greywar

on Jun 30, 2004

Marvin - sweet jesus man, tact!

Emma- people do what they do. You did not drive him to do shit.

KarmaGirl

on Jun 30, 2004

Marvin - sweet jesus man, tact!

My thoughts exactly.

Emma, I hope you are able to work things out. People work through stress in different ways.

Poetmom99

on Jun 30, 2004

I'm 99.9% sure that we're going to be all right. I love him, and I hope he realizes that. Thanks for all your thoughts and help.

Hey, that's a high percentage....so that's good....hang in there, and make SURE he knows you love him.....don't just hope he knows, or presume he knows....TELL him, and tell him often.....and find ways to show him....

simplethings

on Jun 30, 2004

I'm so happy that you all care enough about me, to yell (or something like yelling) at Marvin. That's in a way, proving to me that I have friends, although I don't "know" you all, but do we ever really know anyone? Anyways, Thanks.

Emma, I hope you are able to work things out. People work through stress in different ways.

Thanks Karma, I realize this now. Too bad I couldn't have figured that out, or heard that before I got myself so upset.

Poetmom, Today I think that if I counted the times I told him I loved him, and told him that I don't know what I'd do with out him, I would run out of numbers. I convinced him to come to work with me tomorrow, and talk to one of the counselors there with me. I hope he gets this stress taken care of soon. I think he's starting to regret drinking.

Anyways, Thanks everyone!

Emma

dharmagrl

on Jun 30, 2004

Hey Marvin, I'm buzzed on Jack and coke and my bluntness is coming out full force now, so I'll say what everything else has danced around and is probably thinking anyway.....

..you're an asshole for saying that. I was going to say that I cannot believe that you said it, but I can. You have a habit of being rude and obnoxious and then saying that you were only spreading God's word. Give it a rest, would ya?

Emma...I'm not in your husband's head, so i don't know what he's thinking. i do know that he's been under a lot of stress lately...fighting a war, having a kid, dealing with a demanding and altogether childish father.....I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but I don't. All I can do is let you know that I'm sending you my love. It'll work out, Em. Trust me.

Gideon MacLeish

on Jun 30, 2004

Thanks, I attend church, but I don't know exactly what to consider myself. I believe in God, but there are many things that could put me in hell. I don't know though. Religion has always confused me.

Well, since you're operating from a basic judeo-christian philosophy of life (what I was trying to figure out), I can recommend Gary Smalley's "Hidden Keys to a Loving Relationship". He has it nicely packaged in a videotape series that may be available at your local library, and would definitely be available at many churches in your area (don't be afraid to call around; many pastors are quite dedicated to helping couples preserve their marriage and would probably be more than happy to lend you the series). Smalley spends a lot of time talking about the (general; he acknowledges these rules aren't universal) ways that men and women communicate differently, and ways to break down communication barriers between spouses. Even if your husband isn't inclined to watch it, seeing it may give you some constructive ways to interact with him.

On a personal note, I will keep you and your husband in my prayers, as I know well how tough things can be at times.

God Bless,

Gideon MacLeish

simplethings

on Jun 30, 2004

Karen--

It'll work out, Em. Trust me.

I do trust you. You're the one who gave me hope that Shawn was okay before (when I couldn't find him) and you were right about that. Thank you!

Thanks Gideon,

I will keep you and your husband in my prayers, as I know well how tough things can be at times.

We need all the prayers we can get. Thanks!

Emma

Janders

on Jun 30, 2004

Emma~ You are a strong girl, you have proved this already.... Lots of prayers go to you and Shawn right now.

Marvin~ What the hell is wrong with you? You owe Emma an apology!

simplethings

on Jul 01, 2004

I really don't think I'm as "strong" as I must seem to be, it's just my love for Shawn that makes me appear to be strong. I can honestly say, if I didn't love him, I don't think I'd be holding up too well. Thanks for your prayers, We need a lot of prayers.

Emma

Kayles

on Jul 01, 2004

Don't worry about what stupid people that don't care about your situation have to say. It seems that when we are going through hard times, there are always those certain people who have no compassion and say whatever they want, whether it's truthful or not! He's NOT going to leave the two most important girls in his life! I hope that everything gets worked out, and soon. I will pray for you, Shawn, and sweet little Alysia.

Poetmom99

on Jul 01, 2004

Unfortunately, this has proven to be true, time and time again, in my life and in the lives of others....there are those people who love to kick you while you're down, as it somehow makes them feel superior. As for me, I prefer the "there but for the grace of God go I" attitude, as we never know what our own futures may hold.

Alysias Daddy

on Jul 01, 2004

Emma Leigh, I'm sorry. I love you. We'll talk in a couple of days when this all gets straight in my mind. I just need to think.

Marvin, I would never leave Emma and Alysia. They are my life and my main priority's. I may not be happy right now, and I may not be the best husband and father, but I love them. And I would never do that to them. BTW, I think i'm an asshole too, I won't take it to heart that you said that, mainly because I know it.

Shawn

Poetmom99

on Jul 01, 2004

BTW, I think i'm an asshole too, I won't take it to heart that you said that, mainly because I know it.

Shawn...the fact that you can admit to acting like one pretty much proves you AREN'T one, really.

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