I am having slight contractions all the sudden, ugh! they hurt! I'm trying not to let my sister Paige see that I hurt, I'm afraid she'll get scared. I'm scared. I'm scared to do this alone. I'm scared to be away from Shawn any longer. I don't know how to deal with all the stress that I've had lately. . . Every night, I sit in my room, unable to sleep, because I'm worried about Shawn. He tells me not to think about him right now, but how can I not? So far he's the best thing thats ever happened to me, and I could lose him at any moment. When I turn on my tv (one thing I haven't been doing lately for this sole purpose) I usually hear about another soldier being killed. And I get a pit in my stomach and everytime the phone rings, I'm afraid to answer it, thinking that someone is calling to let me know my husband has been killed. ugh... I don't know how much more of these contractions I can take! (hopefully I can handle a lot more) My neighbor's have been coming over, they have been the decent neighbors. I have 1 neighbor who tries to cause trouble, but luckily I haven't heard much from her lately. This is hard to type with my stomach. It's always in my way, I can't wait to be small again! uh... I hope I can make it through the day, I haven't quite narrowed any names down yet.
Emma