Alysia, Paige, and I went back to the center today. All I heard was "When can we write more letters?" I was so touched. I'm a little worried. Shawn informed me that we may be moving within the next 3 months. It took me so long to get those kids trust, and to build their friendship, if we move, that'll screw things up. So I'm praying that we don't get moved. Shawn called and just as I suspected, his dad was only using surgery as an excuse for Shawn to go to NY. Shawn's dad has been lonely, a...

Wow, my daugther slept really well last night! It was really nice. She only got up every 3 hours and even at that, she was just hungry, or she needed changed. So I felt like I was doing a good job last night. I've been feeling sort of depressed lately. I'm not sure why, but I am. I think part of it is that my mom isn't here to see Alysia, and she missed out on Paige growing up. When I was 12 my mom had Paige. Everything seemed to be ok. School started up and I went to school and my dad went t...

Shawn and I were talking last night about what I could do with the children at the Psychiatric center, where next school year I'll be teaching writing and art. I wanted to do something to enhance their writing, and perhaps get their minds working. Shawn suggested that I have them write letters to the soldiers in Iraq, and also have them color the back of the envelopes all pretty. He said it made him feel really good to get letters, especially bright and colorful ones. So that's what I'm doing...

Alysia hasn't cried as much today now that I started her on the formula. She seems to be eating better and sleeping. I'm Loving It! I spent time with Shawn today, without talking about what we should do about the crying. Alysia has one more appointment left this week. Then her next one will be in 2 weeks. She's grown so much in the past 3 days. I have a dumb dumb question, and I don't want to ask cause I feel sort of dumb by asking this, but. . . how long is the normal wait before having sex ...

I fell asleep on the couch last night, while Shawn was trying the Kangaroo-ing thing with Alysia. I slept all night. Shawn slept with Alysia like that, and she woke up a few times but he gave her some formula and changed her diaper and all that wonderful stuff and she went back to sleep. I was depressed of course, considering that I love laying next to Shawn at night and hearing his heart beat. But I was overjoyed to get so much sleep! We took Alysia to her second to last check-up this we...

Alysia has been crying for the past 3 hours. Nothing is working! I'm frustrated! I tried everything I could think of before I handed her over to Shawn about 10 minutes ago. Shawn keeps looking to me for advice, and I keep telling him "Honey, if I knew how to make her happy, don't you think I would have done it already?" and he just looks at me with a blank stare. . . and thats where I reply "I didn't think so. Just hold on! I'll take her in a minute!" Is parenthood like this from here on out...

We went out to lunch and to Alysia's doctor today. Alysia is fine. I spoke with one of the nurses that was there the night I had Alysia, and she said that Alysia had done the same thing her first night. And she said that all Alysia wanted was to be rocked, and rub her back. so I thought I tried that last night... but oh well, maybe I'm just so tired that I don't remember. My husband says hello to everyone. Alysia has been sleeping all afternoon and I'm saying to myself, why couldn't she have ...

I have a serious question. . . why in the world do babies feel the need to keep us up all night? I mean come on, wouldn't it just be easier for the both of us if babies would just sleep? Alysia was up every 2 hours. So of course I was up every 2 hours. Oh oh! My husband will be home in 4 hours! Anyways, Alysia was just waking up and crying. I'd try to feed her she didn't want it. I tried to change her, she didn't need it. I rocked her, she was still crying. What in the world was I supposed to...

My mother-in-law showed up at my house about a half an hour ago or so, and we got to talking and I burst into tears. She, who was sitting on a different chair holding my daughter, put my baby in her seat and quickly sat beside me and put her arms around me. I was shocked, but yet very comforted. She told me that she understood what I was going through. She asked me if I wanted to talk about what was bothering me, and I just let it all out. And you know, my sneaky husband, He asked for early l...

We just got home a few minutes ago, and Alysia is asleep. She cried almost the whole way home! My sister was getting upset and I just smiled. I don't know why, but that sound was so nice. Too bad the enjoyment of hearing her cry won't last. . . lol. . . I just convinced my little sister to read a book in the guest room. She's really driving me crazy We have to go back tomorrow for a check-up. The nurses fell in love with her. She's soooo tiny, I'm afraid to break her! Still waiting to hear...

The pictures didn't work when I attached them, so if you'd like you can send me your e-mail address and I can e-mail you all a picture or two of Alysia.Emma

I just woke up about 10 minutes ago... I have a beautiful baby girl, and I just named her Alysia Leah Rae. . . She weighed 4 lbs 3 1/2 ounces. She is so beautiful. It really hasn't hit me yet that I'm a mommy. I realize that I am, but it's so shocking. I held her once, and then they took her to take her picture. I have the picture so as soon as they give it to me on a cd then I'll put it on here. She is so sweet. I have been trying to call Shawn, but so far I haven't had any luck getting a ho...

I'm leaving for the hospital in 2 minutes, my contractions are getting farther apart, and its making me nervous so I'm going. My husband is unreachable. They don't know where he is at the moment, which is really making me more nervous. I'm scared to death. I'm going to write tomorrow or late tonight sometime, it depends when I have this baby and when I feel like using my computer.. I'm so scared I'm shaking. I called the hospital and they told me that if I didn't feel like I could drive, to g...

I am having slight contractions all the sudden, ugh! they hurt! I'm trying not to let my sister Paige see that I hurt, I'm afraid she'll get scared. I'm scared. I'm scared to do this alone. I'm scared to be away from Shawn any longer. I don't know how to deal with all the stress that I've had lately. . . Every night, I sit in my room, unable to sleep, because I'm worried about Shawn. He tells me not to think about him right now, but how can I not? So far he's the best thing thats ever happene...

I just got back from the Doctor, He said everything looks as we're right on schedule!! I am dialated 2 centimeters.. not very big but its a start I guess. I've had my mind on a few things for my baby, either Noah Shawn (Shawn after my husband!!) or maybe.... well i'm still stuck on the girls name. I took my little sister with me today, she's like my support with Shawn not here. She's not much of a support considering she's 12. I love her though. She wants me to name the baby Maggie, or Kurt.....